this will be my last post for this blog…
my new blog is at this website:
www.bleu-ciel2011.blogspot.com
take care and keep on reading~ =)
i have decided…to start a new blog! cos i have no idea why but recently, my computer seems to hate this website to the very core…
it can load any other website except this! grrr….so instead of trying to copy and save and paste in a new tab, i shall just go back to where i started blogging at = blogger.com
okay….since i have around 8 hrs to kill, i shall start to create the new blog~ in my next and probably last post later, i’ll post the add~
hope this post damn well publishes!!
One of my favorite scenes from Alice in Wonderland:
Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad?
Alice Kingsley: I’m afraid so. You’re entirely bonkers. But I’ll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
don’t know why….just have been thinking of that scene… =)
today went by slowly… woke up and bathed Rocky before bring him out to sun…. then took out the trash ….
and for the next 6 hrs, my sis and i just sat in front of the tv watching episodes of detective serial dramas like white collar, leverage, covert affairs…blablabla~
played wii house of the dead for a while….
it’s the only game i would voluntarily play on the wii…. killing zombies with a rifle?! who WOULDN’T love that?
learnt how to play a card game my bro bought recently…..it was fun! although i am still a little slow, i think i kinda get the gist of it though! XD
looking forward to eat dinner with my colleagues from work tmr! it’s only been a week but i feel it’s been a month since i last saw them…
i better sleep soon…..going to be 2 already! everybody’s imperfect.. they are flaws in everyone for sure so try seeing the good side of them… =)
sorry, i get these kind of random thoughts more often nowadays!
before today, or rather…. even till today, i still wonder what could have happened had i chosen a different action.. alot of thinking, wondering, hoping, missing and, the one thing that should not be done(yet i still do occasionally) – regretting.
but this post isn’t gonna be about what i wanted to do differently; it’s that i have gradually come to a closure.
cos thinking about what happened, wondering about what happened when i wasn’t around, hoping that one day you two would take the initiative to call/ talk to me, missing the company doesn’t help. it just brings my mood down, make me feel alone , unwanted and most of all, depressed.
but then i started to think, “was it really worth being depressed and sad? when you were probably having a good time enjoying each others’ company?” and ,”yeah, i become moody and sad but so what? the world still revolves, i still have to go to work, my habits still haven’t changed..”
at first, i was angry at the both of you for not contacting me even though i was the one who decided to stop contacting both of u first. like a kid, i craved attention. after a while, i moved on to feeling hurt, pitiful for myself…. then, i’d finally decided.. i was probably better off without the two of you… and that likewise, you two would be better off without me.
i don’t know if u are ever going to read this, but if u do, understand that i type this with no intention of hurting anyone. if you do read and get hurt/angry, i sincerely apologize with all of my heart. but i hope you read with an open heart and mind..
to the girl: i really, really, REALLY dislike to use the word,’regret’. so i mean it when i use it.
i regret that things turned out this way between the both of us.honest.
recently, i went to read my blog from my secondary school days and there were alot of posts about us.
about how i loved to go to your house, how u taught me maths, how we used to watch dramas instead of studying, how we spent time playing with hair stuff, about when we used to go out to countdown, about meeting ppl online for the 1st time together.. i miss it. i still do.
it’s no one person’s fault things turned out this way….if i were to blame it, i’ll say that all of us had a part to play.
what’s happened has happened. no matter what, i just wanted to say – one thing i have not, do not and will not regret is being friends with you. maybe u think otherwise…i don’t know…but all i know is that i’ll cherish the memories i had with you.
so i mean it when i say/type this :
Sorry that it turned out this way
Thank you for everything good AND bad, and lastly, take good care of yourself.
I don’t think we’ll be in contact anytime soon….perhaps a few years down the road, we’ll have a get-together and talk about old times and who knows? have a good laugh about it even!
I wish you all the best and please, be more sensible and mature.
to the other person,
i’ve never known someone like you before. it was really interesting and fun to spend time with. if we meet again a few years later, maybe i can tell u the things i’ve never dared to.
you’re a really manipulative person and abit of a sneaky one too. you’re selfish and show a black face most of the time… you are observant but not very.. i’ll miss riding on your motorbike, feeling the wind against my hand and trying to drink as if competing against the both of you..
because of you, i did things i never did before….like bungee jumping and all… but i won’t regret because it was what i wanted.
the difference between you and me is that once i know what i want, i will do my best to get it … as for you, even if you know what you want, u tend to put others before yourself…my advice is, be a little bit more selfish on those occasions u need to, if not u’ll be at the losing end.
thanks for accompanying me every time i wanted to walk a little bit more…
i’ll miss your contagious laughter, making fun of you and miss listening to your dreams of the future…
but this is where it ends. take care of her for me, will you? and take good care of yourself too.even it the going gets tough and a lot of problems pile up to the point you think u’re going to breakdown, keep thinking, ” i can handle this.”
i believe in you so please, believe in yourself.
to the both of you:
i missed your company when we stopped contacting each other… because most of my social life was with the both of you…christmas, 31 dec, 8-9 jan, the countless times we drank together and went for supper at the old place…
you guys were the only people that was willing to spend time till the wee hours just drinking and having fun with…
I won’t be a fool and make promises like,” i’ll be there for you” anymore unless i mean it..
now that all this has ended, it’s time i grew up too..
thank you for putting up with my faults and being my friends for so long…. you both will be in my memories…no hard feelings harboured whatsoever..
really, i hope that we can meet up a few years down the road and just have a good chat about the old times….
Thank you both for the good memories as well as the bad and goodbye.
(P.S. this post isn’t intended to harm anyone emotionally, psychologically or physically…it’s just to let my opinions out.. it’s time i let go. =) peace out. )
started with the end of 2 friendships, a lonely Vday spent at work, overspending and insurance still unpaid for…
but the 26th of feb made it better! met up with SSTWL as someone made up that term and had a blast!
sure, the party was kinda boring but with them i don’t feel the slightest bit bored… shared with them what’s happened in my life and really, thanks for listening…
the hardest part is letting go. but if there’s one thing i’ve learnt, it’s that you shouldn’t rush or force yourself to do it… just let time do its thing and hope that this phase will pass over soon.. =)
yesterday, i went to the Natas travel fair and spent hours just going booth to booth looking and asking about F&E Melbourne….
i intend to go during July during my AL for 6D5N by myself, YES, by MYSELF. =)
can’t wait for April, then July!! XD
for now, i’m looking forward to thurs to go kbox with my 2 girlfriends and to dinner with the whole gang at sakae~wheeee~
tired~
2 cases in dental and i scrubbed for both…
good news: i finally get to scrub for a dental case aside from lefort! it’s scaling, filling and extraction of teeth..12 teeth in total to be exact.
bad news: i had no idea what most of the instruments in the set called,” instruments for filling” were called..i just chucked the whole lot of them into a kidney dish and passed the whole dish to the surgeon to find which one he wanted….
and for that surgery, i dropped at least 5 instruments i think…..all at different times….
and 1 thing i really got me irritated were the words,”pick-up”….the surgeon called for ,”pick-up” and i was like HUH? then the junior surgeon said,”forcep tweezer”
now THAT i can understand.
anywy, long story short – his “pick-up” was a non-toothed forcep….argh! say the correct term!
oh well, nevertheless, im happy to have the experience of scrubbing for a new dental case… but im srsly damn tired…
2 cases and i scrubbed for both….
—-_—–
that’s what u get for an 8-6 duty i guess….
i think i might have found something to look forward to at work now~ =)
i need to vent. so this post is going to sound very unpleasant. get the warning – read at ur own risk.
DAMNNIT SOAB! ARGH!
dammiiiiiiiiit.
JDBFROPWFNBJWEUFEJNCDJWSODFHJUEWBFJEWFOIHEWKNFGREGOPRTGOIBEDSVXUWQJERFOP34N GTUHGUIRTJVOIGYB2JJF[PKDFIWHEFH3I!
ok at least there goes 1 percent of my anger. exhaleee….
the melb trip is not going to happen. na-da.
y? cos of $$ issues. not bcos i dun have it; it’s cos i can’t touch it even though it’s mine.
FML.
there goes my plans of skydiving and horseback riding.
oh well, i shall attempt to go again in July.
but im really disappointed cos i needed a break. a break to get away from all these racing thoughts im having nowadays.
soooo….a week of AL in march and no plans whatsoever… what am i going to do? *sigh*
Today was just amazing.
first off, Karie got married!! it didnt feel real until today in the cab and i was thinking,” she’s getting married! she is actually getting married!” it was really an honor to be part of their solemnisation… and heartwarming to see it…..
don’t know the groom well but i have a feeling that he’s going to take really good care of her…=) zhu ni men chang chang jiu jiu, xing fu mei man, zhao sheng gui zi!
after that, fiza and i went to marina bay sands and finally had our first and last meal of the day…. went for dessert at a place called,” high society” and the cupcakes were awesome especially one (cant rmember the name though…)
shall put up pics on fb soon…
then on a impromptu suggestion by fiza, we went to the skypark and took alot of pics, mostly using her polaroid… then we went to the bridge shaped like a DNA thing for a walk but when we were abt to cross the road, a traffic police officer/ security guard was like,” going home? but the fireworks havent even started..”
then i heard,” BOOOM!” which really took me by surprise…. luckily, fiza and i were standing at a good spot and we watched the whole fireworks and it was spectacular…. after it finished, we went to the bridge for a walk and went home…
it was really fun today! seeing the both of them and going to new places~ i wish i had more off days to spend!
now looking forward to feb the 26th and my AL in march!
am i blunt or straightforward? i think not. at least, no one has told me that.
but i didn’t know that i could be so insensitive.
oh well, best buds will always remain as best buds.
everyone has secrets…and this is one i want to carry by myself no matter what.
a guardian angel is nothing but someone who watches over closely and helps out without others knowing.
That to me, at that point of time, was pure bliss.
so please, leave it be. =)
been wondering lately as to whether i should get a camera… maybe it’s cos my bro recently got a DSLR that made me want one…. but the pictures that come out seems really nice…
but i suck at reading manuals….i read 1…..5 or 10 pages max and i’ll decide that hands-on is better.
and it seems really heavy.. since it’s so big….plus it’s at least a thousand so i’ll have to save for like 4-5 months first…..
butbutbut….the photos that came out are the kind i want!!!! sigh….. i think i’ll just have to save….
i want to go to m’sia sometime during end of aug or start on sept since there’s a mega sale or smth like that….. =)
im bored…..recently, there’s no updates on the mangas i like…..so no manga to read=me staring the the laptop blankly…sigh….
maybe i could go running/swimming tmr if im in the mood…
today im a little bit happy cos i managed to single srcub for FESS!!! yeah!!!! okay so much for cheering….tired….gonna K.O. bye~
